you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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