I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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