He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
