i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
