do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
