whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
