Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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