capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
