I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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