She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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