Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
