remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
