i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize