How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jerry, you need to find god
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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