i don't plan on having that self control this summer
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
