About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
