I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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