Me too!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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