I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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