I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
