Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
false alarm. still invincible.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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