So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
