Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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