fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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