Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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