come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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