Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
