i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
ttyl tear gas
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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