fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize