Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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