Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize