I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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