He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
