There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize