you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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