Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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