we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
