I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
