dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
