wanna go halves on a baby?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize