I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So vagazzling was a success
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
