Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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