Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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