I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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