That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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