I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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