I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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