I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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