I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
