it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He? As in you personified your dick?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
