She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You're so nebulous sometimes
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
