we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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