Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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