I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
