Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
