A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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