Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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(714): View more from California

So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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(903): View more from Texas

I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me

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(210): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.

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(315): View more from New York

hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.

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(212): View more from New York

Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort

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