Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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