Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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