That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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