you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize