I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
