i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
