Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
