There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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