i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My vagina is officially offended.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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